i've died over a thousand deaths each time my dad stabbed me with his dagger looks and tore me apart with his menacing remarks...but I’m still breathing...the physical part of me is still alive but i have yet to see where he buried my spirit...and each time my spirit gains enough strength to come back and look for me, there he goes again wanting to take away my only hope for a happy and peaceful life...he knows not of the life i am talking about...the only love he can speak and know of is the selfish and uncompromising kind of a seemingly disappointed father...his love is clouded by his own guilt…guilt has forced him to think i will be paying for the wrong he may have done in his past...but isn't the burden of cutting off my freedom the same as the pain i will go through if indeed i paid for his wrongdoings?...please do not let me carry the load you brought upon yourself …is it not that the pain he is protecting me from is the same pain he is trying to inflict on me himself when he talks to me with a cold heart and an unaccommodating mind...heart and mind both unaccustomed to openness and understanding...for others, he will try...for me, i know he doesn't want to...